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Chromejutsu

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Now that I am complaining about trends, I can tell you something else that pisses me off besides gear reviewers calling us idiots for looking at their work.

Now there are those who say that gear doesn’t matter, that you can take perfect pictures without a Leica or five grand lens.

In fact, this trend goes back many years ago. There is an urban legend about photojournalist Ernst Haas saying ‘Leica, schmeica, the camera doesn’t make a difference’ to a couple of leicaphiles trying to coax a statement about Leica being inherently superior to other brands from him. This is still the trend this days. Both things, I mean: leicaphiles and leica-schmeicas.

You know what, you gear-doesn’t-matter biggots? You’re NOT right. Because yes, gear does matter. Those who say that gear doesn’t matter are the same kind of people that say the same thing about the size of you know what: they do it out of envy.

Because, yes, sure Robert Capa could have taken great pics by sticking a piece of film up his ass in a darkroom and farting to expose it by using his sphincter as a shutter because he was one of the toughest motherfuckers war journalism has ever seen, but sure having a then state-of-the-art Contax II (which is a great camera to take pictures even today) may have helped him getting the job done.

Of course you can use your iphone to shoot fashion. Can you use your iphone to get technically perfect fashion shots, usable for flexible editing? Certainly not. photography is not just about your eye, Leicashcmeica biggots, it is also about knowing what is the right tool at the right time and knowing how to use it, because sure it takes a great driver to win a F1 GP, but even the the most tough-as-nails driver couldn’t do it on a Trabant.

I know a guy, a photojournalist tougher than Solid Snake, that took great shots under the rain in a prison yard in South Sudan with a single-use 35mm camera with a flash in 2012. Someone  took this as proof that gear doesn’t matter. Again: that photographer was and is a pro journalist with all sorts of gear available and he choose to use the single-use camera. Why? Because inside a South Sudan prison that was getting flooded that was the right tool at the right moment  

And, you know, normally those telling you that gear doesn’t matter are those trying to make you buy into the idea that all you need to shoot great pictures is an iphone. This should keep you thinking. And know what? If an iphone is gonna do the same for you than a Canon EOS 5d MkIII would, then your skills at photography suck so much big time that you shouldn’t bother buying an iphone for taking pics either: you buying a camera, any camera, will be a waste of money and time.

Does it mean the opposite, that it’s the gear what makes a photographer? Of course not. First learn the do of photography. Photo-jutsu: ninja stuff, bro. Once you qualify for the first dan of photojutsu, you will know the right time for the right tool. Twenty percent talent, eighty percent practice and cunning.   

And that above was the reasonable man in Baron I talking.

Now, consider this: is there an iphone with any chrome on it? No. That must really mean something, bro. We alpha love the touch of chrome, handling it, caressing it, petting it. And remember that if you die with something chrome in your hand you will go to Valhalla, where all is shiny and chrome, and everything is branded Leica and named in weird combinations of five capital digits.

Until then, get your all-important camera-gear from my store. I deserve.

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